Where are all my single ladies (and gents) at!? If you’re single and possibly ready to mingle, then this is the post for you. I’m talking all about how to be single in your 20’s, my experiences with it, and how to totally rock it.
I’m super excited to be writing this post because it’s a topic I’m passionate about, but also a little upset about how being single is something that can be seen as negative. Being single in your 20’s, or at any age of life is something that can be amazing and should be celebrated.
I have been single all of my life. Of course, there are times when it would have been nice to have a boyfriend or significant other, but for the most part, I’ve been just fine. I’ve learned to become more independent, confident, and know what I do and do not want in a partner.
These are all qualities that make me who I am, and they can absolutely shape you as well. If you’re single and struggling, keep reading.
A Little Bit About Me
As I said earlier, I have been single my whole life. I just turned 23 and am a senior in college. I’m sure that some of you guys can relate (at least I hope…)
I went to a small private grade school and high school, so dating was not the easiest there. Then, I began my college career as a dance major at Point Park University (which you can read more about, here).
Since Point Park is a small liberal school, the dating scene was pretty limited there. I didn’t go on my first “real date” until I got to Drexel two years ago.
Now just because I’ve never been in a serious relationship doesn’t mean I haven’t had crushes or been on dates. I’m human after all! I’ve just never taken those experiences and felt that it was the right person to be in a relationship with.
Finding Your Confidence
In order to be single in your 20’s and totally rock it, you need to be confident. This probably doesn’t come as a surprise, but it really is the best way to be content on your own.
Confidence is like a muscle. It’s something that you need to work for, constantly train, and can be injured at times. It’s not something that is static and once you have it, you’ve got it forever. You need to constantly be working at it.
I’ve always been a pretty confident person, but being single all my life has definitely tested that. It’s hard to not let your mind wonder and think, “why am I still single?” “Am I unattractive?” “Do guys not like me?” “Am I doing something wrong?”
NO! Do not let your head get the best of you. Know that there is nothing wrong with you. It’s so easy to let these thoughts creep into our heads, but you need to remember who you are, and your true beauty.
Being single doesn’t mean that you’re unattractive or have anything wrong with you. It just means that you haven’t found your person yet. Simple as that. Once you can accept this, then your confidence can flourish.
Take this time by yourself to understand who you are. What do you like and dislike? What are the qualities you admire about others? Really do some digging so that when the time comes to be in a relationship, you have the confidence to know who you are in it.
If you are struggling with confidence and need a little boost, here are some affirmations to say to yourself to know how amazing you are:
- I know my self-worth and I know what I won’t settle for.
- I am beautiful and strong.
- My happiness doesn’t depend on others.
- I don’t need anyone else to be fulfilled.
Don’t Listen to the Pressure
There is so much pressure out there as to when to be in a relationship, get married, have children, and pretty much just have your whole life figured out. News flash, it isn’t that easy.
I’m not going to lie, it can be hard to be the “single friend.” Most of my close friends are all in relationships, so I do feel the pressure at times to jump the gun and try to force something that just isn’t there.
Don’t let your friends, family, or anyone for that matter try and convince you to be in a relationship that you don’t want to be in. There is no “one-size-fits-all” for this kind of thing.
Even if your best friend has had 25 boyfriends or girlfriends, that doesn’t mean you have to as well. You are different people and have different timelines for your life.
Going back to the confidence, once you feel secure in yourself and know that it’s okay to be single, you won’t feel the pressure to do what others are doing around you.
Tips for Dating
Even though we’re single, doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t put ourselves out there! If you’re single and totally content or not looking for anyone right now, you do you girlfriend. If you’re ready to put yourself out there BUT are still content with yourself (because that’s what really matters), then I have some tips for you.
4 Tips for Dating with Confidence:
1. Don’t force it
When you’re not feeling something or someone, do not force it. It can be easy to get excited on a date or when you meet someone and think that they’re going to be the one to work out. Trust me, I get that.
Try to not let your excitement get the best of you and force a connection that just isn’t there. It’s better to be single and happy, than in a relationship that isn’t serving you. It’s not fair to you or the other person.
2. Feel your best
Nothing will make you shine more than when you feel your best. When you’re going on a date, you want to be able to show who you truly are, and let your personality come through.
Find some cute clothes and let yourself get dressed up! It’s not about looking your best, it’s about feeling your best.
When you feel your best on the inside, your outward appearance will sparkle as well. Don’t try to look like or be something that you’re not. No one will benefit from that.
3. Try not to get too comfortable
I know that I’m saying how it’s okay to be single and independent, but it can easy to become too comfortable with that. I am SO guilty of this.
I’m a naturally independent person and have become very confident being on my own. Even though this is a good thing, it can hold me back at times.
It’s easy to stay in my comfort zone and think that I don’t have time to be in a relationship or that I don’t need a boyfriend. But if this is always my mentality, how am I ever going to meet someone?
By all means, if you really don’t want to be in a relationship, then totally disregard this. But if you fall somewhere in the middle of being content on your own, but also would be happy to be in a relationship, I totally feel you.
You’re going to have to push yourself out of your comfort zone a little in order to meet someone. I’m not saying to be desperate and go on dates every weekend, but just remember that something may good come out of it. Even if the date is a flop, you know that it’s not a reflection of your worth, it just wasn’t meant to be.
4. Know your worth
This goes back to not forcing it. DO NOT SETTLE! Just because you may be single in your 20’s doesn’t mean you’re never going to find love. The Bachelorette this year is 39!
Don’t think that you’re going to be alone forever and that no one will ever love you just because you’re not in a relationship at this very moment. It can be easy to go down that train, but it’s just not realistic.
You’re going to find someone for you, whether it’s tomorrow or in 10 years. Give it time and don’t rush the process.
Your Time Will Come
I know, I know, we’re all tired of hearing this…including myself. When people find out I’m single, this is always what comes out of their mouth. And honestly, I’m kind of tired of it.
Even though it’s annoying to hear, it is true. Your time will come. Even though you may be single in your 20’s or 30’s right now, doesn’t mean that it’s permanent.
No one knows when they’re going to meet their future husband or wife, but we just have to trust that what’s meant to be will be. I’m a huge believer in trusting the universe, so I really try to remember that if I ever get upset over being single.
I hope that this was helpful if you are also single in your 20’s and needed a little boost.
There’s absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of and everything to be embraced! I think that everyone needs to be single at some point in their life in order to look inside, find your confidence, know your worth, and know what not to settle for.
Keep doing you and keep rocking the single life!
xoxo
