Have you ever said or heard someone say that they’ll be happy once they lose those last 15 pounds or have perfect six-pack abs? Being thin has become equated with being happy, but I can promise you that thinner does not equal happier.
Just because you see someone living in a smaller body, doesn’t mean that they have their life together or are even truly happy. I’ve been there and have since learned that true happiness is not based on the size of your body.
Body Size Does Not Dictate Happiness
As I lay in my bed in my fluffy robe on a Saturday night writing this blog, I’m at the heaviest weight I’ve ever been. I’m also the happiest I’ve ever been (besides being in a global pandemic, of course).
When I was a dance major (you can read more about that, here), I was SO unhappy. Dance was no longer bringing me joy, so I knew something had to change. I thought that if I lost weight and became thinner, I would be a better dancer, and therefore happier.
I went through all the Whole-30 and restrictive diets out there, so of course, I lost some weight. At first, I was SO excited. I finally had achieved the body I wanted, so my life was going to just fall into place, right? Not so easy.
Yes, I was living in a smaller body. I was also living in a mind that was always thinking about the calories in my food, which foods would make me gain weight, planning out my workouts, and how to stay as small as possible. Being smaller didn’t just magically make me a better dancer. It just made me self conscious and even less confident. The exact opposite of what I had hoped.
It Really Comes from the Inside Out
Once I left school, I still tried to maintain my smaller body size. After I lost my period and was transferring to become a nutrition major, I made a change. I thought that gaining weight would make me so unhappy and hate my body, but to my surprise, it was the exact opposite.
Changing your body is not going to change your life. If you are unhappy with your relationships, career, family, or whatever it is, having a thinner body won’t make it any better.
Think about it, most people always want what they can’t have. If we think that losing weight will make us happier, and actually GET to that weight…then what? There’s always a smaller weight which we think will make us happier. It’s like a dog trying to catch its tail.
The true changes that you need to make in your life that will ultimately bring you happiness come from within. I know, corny. An analogy I like to use is to imagine that you are drowning (I know, a little morbid, but stay with me). Now imagine that you’re drowning, but you’re a size 2 instead of a size 6. You’re still drowning, you just look different on the outside.
That’s what it’s like when you think that becoming thinner will make you happier. If you do lose the weight, you’re just going to realize that the initial problem that caused you to lose weight is still there, and probably even worse.
If you are truly unhappy with your life, losing weight is just like putting a bandaid on it. It may make the problem better for a few minutes, but it won’t fix it.
Is it Bad to Want to Change Your Body?
I know that I’m sitting here telling you that thinner does not equal happier. So does that mean that it’s a bad thing to want to change our bodies?
Wanting to change your body is not always a bad thing. Some people may want to eat a little healthier because they know it will make them feel better. If some weight comes off naturally, so be it.
The problem comes in when the sole purpose of changing your body is because you think it will make you happier. If you’re eating in a way that makes you feel good and moving your body in a way that brings you joy, there is no need to change your body.
Remember, everyone has issues going on in their lives. Just because someone may look perfect on the outside, doesn’t mean that their life is perfect on the inside. If you truly want to become happier in your skin, it’s time to accept and respect our bodies. After all, our bodies are ours forever.
I’m not telling you to love your body, I’m telling you to respect it. Respect what it does for you every day and the places it has taken you. If you can just respect your body at this moment, love will follow. THAT is where true happiness comes from.
Some Better Things in Life
When I lost weight and thought that I would be happier, one of the main reasons I wasn’t happy was because of the things I was missing out on. I wouldn’t eat my favorite foods, go out to eat, or have any kind of freedom when it came to food.
There are SO many things in life that are better than having a thinner body. I’m not saying that if you do these things, you’re automatically going to have a bigger body. These are just some things that most people forget about or miss out on when they think that having a small body is the epitome of happiness.
Here are some things that I missed out on when I was in a smaller body, that has now brought me immense happiness:
- Going on spontaneous ice cream trips with your best friends
- Coming down to a home-cooked meal from my mom
- Having a cup of hot chocolate on a snowy day
- Making homemade pizza with my family
- Eating Christmas cookies during the holiday season
- Having drinks and appetizers with my girlfriends for a Happy Hour
- Eating my favorite chocolate & watching my favorite shows at night
I hope that this has helped you if you’re struggling with your body image and the constant urge to be smaller. I can promise you that if something in your life is truly making you unhappy, changing your body won’t fix it.
More Helpful Posts
If you’re struggling with body image and confidence, check out these blog posts which may help:
- How to Find a Healthy Relationship with Food
- “Skinny” is Not a Compliment
- Life’s too Short to Count Calories
- Let’s Talk Body Image
- How to Eat Dessert Everyday
xoxo
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