This is something that I have always wanted to write but didn’t quite know how to put my thoughts into words. I am a private person and don’t usually express these thoughts or feelings to anyone else. Developing a healthy relationship with food can be personal and challenging.
Relationships are personal. Our relationship with food isn’t much different. Developing a healthy relationship with food is something that we all strive for. Some people are born with it, others need to work at it their whole lives.
So…what even is a healthy relationship with food?
What is a “Healthy” Relationship with Food?
There is no black or white answer to what a healthy relationship with food is. I wish it were that simple, but unfortunately, it’s quite complicated.
For me, I believe a healthy relationship with food to be a relationship that you don’t need to work for, doesn’t consume your life and doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself. Kind of like a good friendship. Eating and food shouldn’t be something that you need to be calculating in your head 24/7 or making you feel like your body isn’t worthy or ugly.
If you have any of these feelings surrounding food or eating, then there may be some work that needs to be done to improve this relationship. Don’t worry if this is you, you’re not alone.
Most people have somewhat of a complicated relationship with food due to diet culture, social media, or mental health issues. It’s unfortunate how many people don’t nurture and will abuse this relationship.
I can’t stress how important it is to have a healthy relationship with food, because it’s the one relationship in your life that you know is ALWAYS going to be there. We can’t survive without food. We can’t do anything without food. Developing a healthy relationship with food is vital not only for our mental health but for survival.
My History with Food
Growing up, I was always very thin. I had a great metabolism, was active with dance, and had a huge appetite. A box of mac and cheese? Easy. 5 slices of pizza? Bring it on. No matter what I ate or how “unhealthy” the food was, I just couldn’t seem to gain weight.
During high school, I began to fill out a bit more. I was still extremely active with dance and ate whatever I wanted. I never experienced poor body image
Fast forward to college. If you haven’t checked out my post about my college dance journey, I highly recommend reading that and coming back to this. To sum it up, I lost my joy and confidence in dance while I was a dance major. I was willing to do anything to become better and get my confidence back.
One of my classmates lost some weight and looked amazing. I asked her what she did, and she said the Whole 30 diet. Since I was uneducated and never heard of the diet, of course, I was intrigued. I was determined to do a diet like this once I got home. If I was fit and smaller, how could I not be a better dancer? I was sure to get my confidence back.
The Break-Up
The break-up I’m referring to is mine with food. I completed a 30-day cleanse where I cut out gluten, dairy, sugar, processed foods, and alcohol. Pretty much everything.
I lost a few pounds but honestly didn’t notice. My family would make some comments, but I still felt fine and had a pretty good relationship with food.
Where it got bad was when I got back to school. Everyone noticed my drastic weight-loss. I lost a total of about 20 pounds during this time period. I would hear how “skinny” I became (read more about that, here).
To no one’s fault but my own, I began thinking that “skinny” meant “good” and “beautiful.” The skinnier I became, the prettier and better dancer/person I would become.
In order to stay thin, I didn’t eat dairy and tried eating low-carb. Mind you that I was a dance major and needed to be eating A LOT of carbs due to my active schedule.
My weight continued to drop and I would receive praise for it. I thought I was doing a good thing for my body.
Once I left Point Park, I came home at my smallest weight. I lost about 25-30 pounds. My body was way too thin. During this time, I lost my period, was constantly cold, and was depressed about leaving school. Why was I still obsessed with eating healthy and working out if I was experiencing all of these symptoms?
Time For Change
Once I decided that I was going to study nutrition at Drexel, I knew I had to change. How could I be a nutrition professional and help others, if I couldn’t even help myself?
My body wasn’t functioning properly and wasn’t even menstruating. Having a family and becoming a mother is something that has always been a dream of mine. The fact that this could possibly be taken away from me was terrifying. That’s when I knew I needed to change.
During summer 2018, I decided to totally stop exercising, eat way more food, and just enjoy my life. It was actually refreshing to not think about food and not base my day around it. By the time I got to Drexel, I had gained almost 20 pounds.
Today, I am at the heaviest weight I have ever been. I’m also the happiest I’ve ever been. I don’t stress about going out to eat, I don’t cut out food groups, and I don’t feel obsessed with living a “healthy” lifestyle.
I have a healthy menstrual cycle and my body is functioning properly. My life isn’t based on the food I eat.
How to Improve Your Relationship with Food
Having a healthy relationship with food is extremely hard in today’s world. Between seeing stick-thin models on Instagram, hearing diet commercials on TV, and listening to people trying to be nutrition professionals give “advice.” How are you supposed to have a healthy relationship with food when there is so much misinformation out there?
Developing a good relationship with food begins with having a solid relationship with yourself. If you are not confident in your body, mind, and soul, you are not going to be confident in your food choices.
I had to work on my mental health before I could work on my physical health. Everything is interrelated, so there is a lot more to the puzzle than just food.
One of the biggest tips I have for improving your relationship with food is to know your why. Why do you want to improve your relationship with food? Why do you feel the need to diet?
It may be because you want to lose weight or look good for someone else. My “why” for improving my relationship with food is because I want to have a family one day and I want to be a registered dietitian.
If I never have a period, how would I have children? It wasn’t just going to magically reappear when I wanted it to. I had to put in the work and change my body for my future.
Body Image
I’ve said this before, but I’m going to say it again. Nobody cares what your body looks like, besides yourself.
I’m not trying to be harsh but just think about it for a second. Your friends aren’t going to stop talking to you if you gain 10 pounds, and your family won’t love you any less.
The reason my relationship with food suffered was because I was afraid to gain weight and afraid of what others would think. Once I let go of that expectation and attachment, my relationship began to improve.
I realized that I was the only person who cared what my body looked like. No one else cared or noticed, besides me. In fact, my relationships improved once I gained weight. My body image and self-worth improved enormously once I had this realization.
I hope that this helped you understand what your relationship with food is, and how to improve it. Having a healthy relationship with food is not easy. It takes serious work, dedication, and respect for your body.
Remember that your relationship with food is a personal one and the most important one at that. Take the time and put the work in to improve it, because it will always be there for you.
Compare it to a relationship with your closest friend. Would you treat or talk to your friend the way to talk or think about food?
xoxo
Very interesting and helpful. Thank u! <3
So glad you enjoyed it! Thank you, Orly!! 🙂